After Micah got out of the shower tonight, I dressed him in some new pajamas that I got on clearance last week for $4. (And, just so you know, it is NOT cool enough to wear long sleeves but he wanted them because he was "so cold!") Anyway, he walked into the living room and Jonah looked up and said "You are, Micah! You are!" I had no idea what he meant so I asked him what he said to Micah. He pointed to the words on the pajamas. Then he said "He really is awesome, mommy!" Sigh... So much sweetness towards his little brother!
I can't imagine our life being any different than it is. I know it isn't "normal" by the way other people measure normal but it is our normal and it is all I know. Other than our two years in Seminary at SWBTS, we have been in full time ministry for all of our dating and married life. It's what we do. It is all we know. But, even though it is our normal, it is still really hard sometimes. The last week has been one of frustration and disappointment. I look back over my prayer journal and see some of the same requests written that have been there for months. I want God to intervene and do things on my time table but He doesn't necessarily have the same urgency I have. (imagine that!?!) The interesting thing about asking God to do things that benefit His kingdom is that it doesn't seem selfish to me. I'm truly not asking for my benefit but for things that would bring Glory to Him. So, when they don't happen, I get discouraged sometimes. I understand His big picture and I want Him to work in His time and His way. I really do. But, the urgency seems so great. And, more times than not, it seems we are floundering as we wait for Him to do the next big thing. All the while, little things seem to be unraveling. Then, a day like today happens and it is just sometimes so overwhelming. You realize that you disappoint people on accident. You find out people you really love and care about are hurting. You come to the realization the the church can't be all things to all people. You realize that balls get dropped. You hear of people who miss and are never contacted and feel unloved and uncared for. You realize that you know things you wish you didn't. You counsel people that live a life so far from what you can imagine living that you walk away with no words. You listen as people spew obscenities at each other because their lives are spinning out of control. You see people let their pride keep them from doing the will of God. You hurt for people who are hurt. You are reminded that you can't fix things that have brought great pain to individuals. THIS WAS ALL TODAY, PEOPLE! Dan just got home after a 14 hour day. He walked in the door with his tie still tied from 7:30 this morning. He never saw our kiddos. They went to bed missing their daddy. He came home missing them. It's another day that we live out the calling that HE has given us to but another day that we go to bed asking Him for wisdom and grace to empower us to do what He has called us to do. Because, the truth is, we really love His people and His church. Greater things are yet to come...
Dan had a funeral last Saturday morning so the boys and I picked up Donuts and headed to the playground. If my kids could choose any special treat for breakfast, it is always Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts. We grabbed those from the drive-thru then set off for a full morning of fun.
It was cool when we left home so we capitalized on wearing jeans and long sleeves. We regretted that decision by 10:00 that morning. It got hot! But, the kids didn't mind. They were happy to play regardless of the sweat rolling down their faces.
After playing for awhile, they stopped for a few Munchkins. You can buy them in a box of 25 or 50. We always buy the box of 50 so they can have them for breakfast for a few mornings.
You can see the playground was basically empty while we were there. A family with 3 kids came for a while while we were there but they didn't stay long. The oldest child informed me that his mother "always comes here when she needs to make phone calls that she doesn't want us to hear!"
It was a really fun morning with these two boys. Unfortunately, the fun ended there because we left and hit 6 different stores for a pair of church shoes for Jonah. Every single place was out of his size. At one point, one of the kids said "this is the least amount of fun we have ever had!" I had to agree. Going in and out of 6 stores with no success is no way to spend the morning. At least we started well.